Unemployed in LA

Saving money is an adorable sentiment

I was going to save money.

I was going to be a really thrifty employed-ish individual. That’s how it was going to work. I would clip coupons for the minimal groceries needed, not go out to eat, buy absolutely zero new clothes, and drink way less (because alcohol is just a waste in so many ways, right?). Vacations were not a thing that employed-ish me would go on, because that is a luxury that only the employed should enjoy. I would save in every way possible.

The past tense in that last paragraph was not by accident. Things started innocently enough…

I hadn’t been home in forever, and decided that this new found time was a perfect opportunity to reconnect with the family. So I booked a ticket…

…only - in the booking process, it became pretty clear that I could easily save about $100 if I traveled on one of those airlines that sound like they only go betwen Iowa and Chicago. But my status and mile accumulation is on Delta. So I assessed that I would really be wasting money by saving money, in the sense that I would not be earning miles that would ultimately get me a flight for free. Someday. In the distant, distant future.

Minor slip up, I will admit this. Setting oneself up for upgrades is a luxury of the fully employed. I won’t let it happen again. This was going to be my last flight for awhile…

…only - when I was on the phone with my mom about the trip home, she mentioned there was a family trip in the works to go to Ireland. I have never been to Ireland. I have way too many freckles for this to be ok. And when am I really going to have this time again, so…

I booked it (and since it was so expensive anyway, it seemd like a drop in the bucket to spend the relatively insignificant extra cost for Delta). But that was going to be the last thing, swear…

…only - coming from California, it seems relatively silly to just visit one country while in Europe. So…that one week/one country trip quickly spiraled into two+ weeks/ three+ countries.

But experiences are cultural investments!

And then I felt silly saying no to a girls weekend trip, a family reunion trip and meals out because of the cost. It just felt hypocritical.

I’m not even going to last a year in a home that isn’t also a sedan, am I?

If it were just the buying of “stuff” that needed to go, I think I’d be ok. I read enough InStyle to know how to take last season’s clothes into summer, and my apartment is filled with plenty of items. Stuff is great, but I can give it up.

But I will go broke on experiences. It’s time to accept that.

How easy it is to accomplish nothing

I am now two weeks into being employed-ish, and perhaps the greatest lesson I have learned so far: it is unbelievably easy to accomplish nothing in a day.

I truly thought shooting the moon in the writing productivity area was going to be virtually impossible.  I had to wrote something, even by accident, right?

So. Very. Wrong.

Here is a timeline of how to accomplish nothing in a day:

Midnight - Good night, world!  I am going to have such a productive week! Let me just set that alarm for 8:30.  So reasonable.  I never slept more than seven hours a night when I had a full time job, so this is really luxurious!  With a good night of sleep under my belt, I can accomplish anything tomorrow!  I’ll have half a book done, pretty much!

8:30 - Alarm goes off. Press snooze.

8:35 - Press snooze.

8:40 - Press snooze.

8:45 - Boyfriend grunts “JUST TURN IT OFF.”  Turn alarm off.

9:45 - How is it already 9:45?  Time to get up, I guess.

10:00 - Or watch The Daily Show.  I have to catch up on the news.

10:30 - Alright, I am up.  Good for me!  It’s way before noon, too.  I am going to accomplish so much before Hawaii even goes in for work. Time to write!

10:45 - One of the great things about being unemployed is eating a great breakfast.  I’m going to actually separate my egg whites today.

10:47 - Eh fuck it.  This is a salmonella risk…and someone somewhere said something about good cholesterol.

11:15 - Ok, time to write!

11:20 - I should take the dog for a walk.

11:50 - Ok, time to write!

12:00 - Shoot, if I don’t go to the dry cleaner now, it’s just not going to happen.  The dry cleaners close, I can write at all hours of the day.

1:00 - Ok, time to write!

1:05 - What should I do for lunch?  I should really be eating 6 small meals a day, now that I have time for that.  I’ll note that for tomorrow.

1:30 - Arg I’m behind on my food diary, let me just real quick enter in breakfast and lunch, and then it’s really time to write.

2:00 - Jeeze distinguishing between all those kinds of oven roasted turkey cold cuts took longer than expected, and now that I have all this time I should really be accurate with my calorie count input.

2:05 - If I don’t work out now, it’s just not going to happen, but there’s not a bar method class until 3. Hmmm…I could write for an hour - but it’s really already 2:05, and I need to leave by 2:50 to get to bar method - and I need to get ready for it…my brain will be ready for writing after sweating it out.

4:10 - Ugh I can’t write when I’m sweaty.  I should shower and pull myself together for the day.

4:45 - Ok, time to write!

4:50 - I should really call my mom. It’s getting late on the east coast.

5:20 - Do I have groceries for dinner?  I better run to the store.  Take out is for employed people who can afford Mozza2Go.

6:20 - If I don’t start cooking dinner now, it’s going to be so late before I eat.

8:30 - Ok, time to write!

8:35 - Shoot - I didn’t send any network-y ish e-mails today.  I need to tell more people about how I’m writing now. 

9:35 - I have to catch up on Mad Men from last night before someone ruins it for me.

10:30 - It’s too late to start writing today, isn’t it?  If I stay up late, I’m never going to have a productive day tomorrow.  I should just have a glass of wine, relax, and focus some positive energy thoughts on how I am going to have a productive day tomorrow.

Midnight - Good night, world!  Ready for a productive day tomorrow starting at 8:30.  Well…we should just change that to 9:00.  I probably didn’t accomplish much today because I was too tired.

Employed-ish

                       

Unemployed in LA is very different from unemployment anywhere else.  It’s just so…the norm.

Let’s start calling it “employed-ish”

Just about half the people I know are employed-ish.  Employed-ish covers any number of different situations: freelancing, owning a business, working from the “home office,” working on spec, on hiatus (the real kind), anyone who goes to auditions on a regular basis, and countless other scenarios.

Basically - anyone who has the time to hop in a car on a Thursday afternoon and head to Santa Barbara, but also has the money to pay for said car and said trip, is employed-ish.

I’m new to this.  I was one of the weirdos that had a full time job in LA, enviously drove past Joan’s on 3rd or Urth on the way to meetings, and  constantly wondered “what do those people do that they can be lounging at 3PM on a Tuesday, eating $18 side salads in $100 fedoras?  Sigh.  I can’t even pull off hats.”

I’m on a mission to become successfully Employed-ish…minus the fedora.  I still can’t pull off hats.